"CAN HEARTBREAKS BE AVOIDED?"
By Melody Ellenberger
What do you think? Regarding romantic relationships, is there any way to prevent getting your heart broken? No matter how many heartbreaks you have experienced over your lifetime, you may say the answer is "no." Keep reading…perhaps I’ll change your mind and, hopefully, change your thinking.
Put a checkmark next to the scenarios to which you can relate:
____ 1. Did you ever get intimately involved with someone who your friends warned you was a "player?" Did your friends warn you to stay away from this person? Did your friends tell you that the player had a pattern of dumping his/her dates after about six months or so? Did this person, in fact, dump you after six months or so?
____ 2. Did you ever get intimately involved with someone who told you at the very beginning, "I don’t want to ever get married/married again" or "I don’t want to live with anyone ever again" or "Now, I’m not looking for anything serious, ok?" …and you continued to date him/her anyway, even though you knew he/she was a "commitment phobe?"
____ 3. Did you ever get intimately involved with someone who was married? Did he/she get a divorce and eventually marry you? -OR- Did you ever get intimately involved with someone who you knew had been recently unfaithful in a previous relationship? Did that person eventually cheat on you?
____ 4. Did you ever get into an "instant romance" relationship? Were you so blinded by the romance and sexual chemistry that you ignored the "red flags?"
____ 5. Did you ever get into a "long-distance relationship" with the assumption that one of you would eventually move to where the other person lived? Did one of you move to the other’s city? If so, did the romance seem to die shortly after you were in constant close proximity?
____ 6. Did you ever get into a "friendship sex" relationship with the agreement that you would never get married and would never be anything more than "friends?" Did you eventually develop deep feelings for this person and eventually have to break off the relationship because you wanted more than "friendship?"
With each of the scenarios to which you can relate, you made a choice to get involved with someone who was a poor risk for a healthy, committed relationship. No one put you in a straightjacket, blind folded you and gagged you and forced you to be in the unhealthy relationship. You willingly made the choice to get involved. Get it? Players, Commitment Phobes, Philanderers, Instant Romancers, Long-distance Lovers and Friendship-Lovers choose their lifestyles because of emotional wounds and fears that they don’t want to face. And you became involved with this type of person due to your own emotional woundedness or fears. In other words, you broke your own heart…
You see, if you take the view that heartbreaks are unavoidable, then you don't have to take any responsibility for them. That's a lazy attitude, don't you think?
Why is it so important to avoid heartbreaks? Let's address that question by first looking at Webster's definition for heartbreak: "crushing grief; overcome by intense sorrow and dispair."
Heartbreaks are not only hard on your soul; they are hard on your physical health. When you suffer a heartbreak, you put your body through tremendous stress, and I’m sure you already know how stress affects the body, right? Proverbs 4:23 says, "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life."
So, back to our title: "Can heartbreaks be avoided? YES! You can take personal responsibility and become more intelligent about the causes of the heartbreaks.
In just 8 short weeks, you can learn to avoid future heartbreaks by attending Relationship Success Workshops for Spiritual Singles where you will:
 | work through your emotional wounds and fears; |
| learn smarter dating practices; |
| create healthy boundaries; and |
| practice important relationship skills needed for a lasting relationship. |
I would also add that, in addition to the above, your heart will be greatly strengthened if you create a personal relationship with your Creator. God is always there for you, waiting with open arms…
Proverbs 4:7 – The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding.